Over the Pacific

Above and below, a great abyss
The sea and the sky, they unify
They come together to greet me
This is it. I have anticipated it.
The end. My personal precipice

I do not know why but I have always
Longed to fly, to surge though the sky
For I was raised in mountainous country
As close to the clouds as you could get
While still being anchored to the earth

Agape, I traced the shape
Of the stars by night
Of the clouds by day
I wanted to hurl myself
Into that everlasting

Darkness or the everlasting blue
I'd watch the stars stream past
Forming a pattern I could not comprehend
And my last inner visions of those mountains
My last thought is of a village - desolate and decaying

As I plunge into the ocean
Once a combatant, now I capitulate
There is no desolation, no wasteland here
I am what I always wanted to be
A part of the waves; a part of the sea.

BLACK BOYS ON MOPEDS

(Sinead O'Connor)

Margareth Thatcher on TV
Shocked by the deaths that took place in Beijing
It seems strange that she should be offended
The same orders are given by her

I've said this before now
You said I was childish and you'll say it now
"Remember what I told you
If they hated me they will hate you"

England's not the mythical land of Madame George and roses
It's the home of police who kill black boys on mopeds
And I love my boy and that's why I'm leaving
I don't want him to be aware that there's
Any such thing as grieving

Young mother down at Smithfield
5 am, looking for food for her kids
In her arms she holds three cold babies
And the first word that they learned was "please"

These are dangerous days
To say what you feel is to dig your own grave
"Remember what I told you
If you were of the world they would love you"

England's not the mythical land of Madame George and roses
It's the home of police who kill blacks boys on mopeds
And I love my boy and that's why I'm leaving
I don't want him to be aware that there's
Any such thing as grieving.

Courtesy of: http://www.lyricscafe.com/o/oconnor_sinead/050.htm

Land of Plenty

I watch as within
A tall terraced house
On a long, snaking street
A family gathers
My fingers turn blue
And I covet the orange hue
Beyond the glass
Beyond my reflection
They laugh, they talk,
Their voices muffled
By space, by time
‘Will you take me?’
Asks this emotional refugee
From the land of famine
To the land of plenty.

The Prescription

The doctor
He says to me
I wish to God
You'd go to sleep
For eternity
So he prescribes
Something to end
My troublesome
Malady

‘Take ten Temazipam
And lie down
And sleep
For the rest
Of the century…

Alternatively
And preferably
For me, take twenty
And lie down for
A century or two.’

Gold Dust

"Gold Dust"
Tori Amos

Sights and sounds
pull me back down
another year

I was here
I was here

Whipping past
the reflecting pool
Me and you
skipping school

And we make it up
as we go along
We make it up we
go along

You said -
you raced from langley -
pulling me underneath
a cherry blossom
canopy
-do i have-
of course i have,
beneath my raincoat,
I have your photographs.
and the sun on your
face
I'm freezing that frame

and somewhere alfie cries
and says "enjoy his every smile
you can see in the dark
through the eyes of laura mars"
how did it go so fast
you'll say
as we are looking
back
and then we'll
understand
we held gold dust
in our
hands

Sights and sounds
pull me back down
another year

I was here
I was here

Gaslights
glow in the street
(flickering past)
Twilight held us
in her palm
as we walked along

And we make it up
as we go along
We make it up as we go along

Letting names
hang in the
air
what color hair
(auburn crimson)
autumn knowingly
stared
and the day that
she came
I'm freezing that
frame
I'm freezing that frame

And somewhere alfie
smiles
and says "Enjoy her
every cry
you can see in the
dark
through the eyes
of Laura Mars"

How did it go so
fast
you'll say as we are looking back
and then we'll understand
we held gold dust
in our
hands

In our
hands

Courtesy of: http://www.azlyrics.com/a/amos.html

Monstrous

We shall never put it back together again
Fragments and shreds and segments
Forever disjointed. Machine gun fire and missiles
Emerge from the mouth of the enemy
It worsens daily

Perhaps they see themselves as God's mouthpiece
Oracle of the deceased or of some great
Historical figure
For many decades now we have toiled
To purge this filth from our land

It is a fruitless task
And we citizens know it
We grovel like ants across the yawning
Void that used to be tomorrow, that used to be the morning,
Over field laced with landmines
To restore the colossal castles and towers and tawdry powers

The once cloudless sky
Is now desecrated by the dye
Of foreign occupation, of a desolate nation
Now as pitiful and as forgotten as some dead peasant brat
Daughter of an ancient and useless serf
The flesh and bones and body of this country are tainted

Order, displaced by chaos. Grace disgraced by anarchy.
It took such effort
To create such a catastrophe
On endless, sleepless nights, I stand right here,
A lone partisan, sheltering from the wind.

Eyeing the uniformed soldiers
That roam the streets
The sun rises, revealing crumbling pillars
I am betrothed to this shadowy
And decaying city
There will never be any other life but this
For me.

Lyrics - Sinead O'Connor's The Emperor's New Clothes

I am listening to this repeatedly. It encapsulates what is going on in my life at the moment:

It seems like years since you held the baby
While I wrecked the bedroom
You said it was dangerous after Sunday
And I knew you loved me
He thinks I just became famous
And that's what messed me up
But he's wrong
How could I possibly know what I want
When I was only twenty-one?
And there's millions of people
To offer advice and say how I should be
But they're twisted
And they will never be any influence on me
But you will always be
You will always be

If I treated you mean
I really didn't mean to
But you know how it is
And how a pregnancy can change you

I see plenty of clothes that I like
But I won't go anywhere nice for a while
All I want to do is just sit here
And write it all down and rest for a while
I can't bear to be in another city
One where you are not
I would return to nothing without you
If I'm your girlfriend or not

Maybe I was mean
But I really don't think so
You asked if I'm scared
And I said so

Everyone can see what's going on
They laugh `cause they know they're untouchable
Not because what I said was wrong
Whatever it may bring
I will live by my own policies
I will sleep with a clear conscience
I will sleep in peace

Maybe it sounds mean
But I really don't think so
You asked for the truth and I told you
Through their own words
They will be exposed
They've got a severe case of
The emperor's new clothes
The emperor's new clothes
The emperor's new clothes

Courtesy of:
http://www.lyricscafe.com/o/oconnor_sinead/049.htm

Stick Figure

My sister died and was idolized
For half a century. And now
It is her ghost that bleeds me white
I have pursued her for decades
A stick like figure she fades
Into the crowds on the street
The day darkens, horns blare
And the storm intensifies
She is a flickering, ephemeral being
As temporary as chalk on a pavement
Always vulnerable to the next rainfall

Around and around we go
Along the slender, twisting road
A shimmering black ribbon
Stretching out before us
Undulating and unforgiving
This route is familiar to me
She is a bone-dry tree
She has shed everything
In a self inflicted Blitzkrieg
We scramble over the rubble
Over the remnants of her life

As autumn is ushered in
She hides from me
As she hides from everyone
I cannot get near her
She keeps her contents secret
A china doll, softening,
Shrinking; melting into my life.

A City at Night

No birds remain here
They have taken flight
For there is no place on earth
More lonely than a city at night.
When all doors are shut against me
And here I stand, hunched
Beneath the fury of the midnight rain
Soaked to the bone, the wind
Gorges itself on my flesh and the elements
Show nothing but hostility

I meet the eyes of automobiles,
Watery headlights that shine
Through the darkness, wavering
As if tear filled. And at my feet
Black waters gather.
This terrain plays tricks on me
There is no trace of my shadow
And, as if enslaved by some
Desultory design, this dark city
Consumes me, slowly, limb by limb.

Borderland

No feud is enough to keep me from you
I brave the barricades and the border guards
And you appear so near now. I journey
Through memories in dark and restless sleep
A bleak borderland, a stark, dry terrain
Where suicidal strangers meet.

We dwell within the ancient walls
Of a forgotten country, scorched and frozen,
By turns; haunted by a history of hatred
A decimated island on which matchstick
Children stand, tormented by the sun
And praying for death.

This is a vulnerable state, on the edge of hell
Sandwiched between two superpowers
Clinging to an impossible peace
And all around there are pillars of salt,
Crumbling statues of fleeing citizens
Who dared to look back.

The father says, ‘Son, take this gun’
And sends his progeny off to war
And he carves curses upon stone
Primitive and inglorious
Hit by one calamity after another
We are all crazy here.

The Art of Forgiveness

I listen to ghosts who hide in closets
Forgiveness is an art and I have not mastered it
I search for resolution but it is elusive
It is gossamer like – floating – always just beyond
My reach. Instead I fix my eyes firmly on old wounds

I am sick with the stench of martyrdom
I cannot stand what I have become
Anger is a special guest on my inner talk show
Midnight – last night – I reached into the dark
Grasping at shadows and listening to

The irregular beat of my heart – like some convict
Pounding on prison walls. I want to set it free
My shell is mangled. There is no way they
Can put me back together again. My inner landscape
Grows silent as I dwell on that same old calamity

My tiny world was struck by lighting
Insecurity intruding – devilish and devious-
Into the whirlpool of the mind. Into the rocky remains
Of my brain. The war within has lingered on
For so long that it has grown tedious.

Spirits

Spirits fermenting within
Belied by external toughness
An outer shell – solid
As rock, protecting
What lay within
You were impenetrable.

I say a prayer for you
In midnight mass
As the seasons pass
As I kneel in the pew
I am one of the few
Left to mourn for you

You are liberated from life
Like a convict freed
Like a slave unleashed
But you don't come back
To haunt me as you promised
And I am almost disappointed.

Archaeological Dig

I spend my time
Carbon dating skeletons
And uncovering relics
Unearthing bones
Bleached by age
Exhibiting contempt
For ancient graves
There may be something
Sacred beneath my feet
A ruined church,
A crumbling castle
But I have no regard for that

A Viking queen
She breathed her last
On this very spot
And was interred
Along with the bones
Of Pagan devotees
Banished before death
The bountiful land
It yields a harvest
That will form a part
Of a chronicle that lingers on
In the minds of the ancestors

Dreams Evolving and Dissolving

I know them – the harbingers of night visions
I know the gifts they bring
I know the songs they sing
They take a brush to our canvas
Once empty and dimensionless
Now replete with lines and curves
With colours – primary and pastel
These stark visions – they come alive
Before our eyes – still lives
Images that ensnare
Onions against a chequered cloth
A halo atop golden locks
A gnarled chair; a woman's hair
Hunched old hags and bleeding clocks
Dreams that evolve and dissolve
With the arrival of a cruel and frigid dawn.

Bella (Yet Again)

She shoots like a missile
Through the cat flap
I make it rain, she thinks
And tears at the furniture in frustration

She crouches upon my chest
Her purr reverberates
Throughout the world
Essential to the balance of nature

She is heavy like led
She is an absolute monarch
Or a despotic empress
She must worship me

Her claws penetrate my flesh
I should feel privileged
For they say that the more they love you
The more they cling, the more they lacerate.